The book How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton M. Christensen, James Allworth, and Karen Dillon is one of the best practical self-help books I have read in a long time. Thanks to Discovery Shoppe Book Club, we read this in January.
Discovery Shoppe Book Club comes up with thought-provoking book reviews per month. These reviews give a good summary of our current read and also serve as a guide to potential readers. Read through for a wholesome gist of our book read for January 2022.
By Joyce Ekeh | Editor: Vivian Oguguo | Discovery Shoppe Book Club
Christensen took his time to walk us through how to analyze what we want out of life and how we want to get it. He writes that happiness and fulfillment in life should not be based only on the "hygiene factors", which are money, fame, status, e.t.c. but also on “motivation factors” like wholesome relationships, family, and personal well-being.
He began the book by talking about the reunions he usually had with his business school classmates and the lessons that stood out to him in these reunions. After five years, he recounted his experiences again. This time, many of his classmates seemed to be high achievers, happily married, and there was much to discuss. Everyone was excited.
Fast forward to the 10th year reunion, and many people he was looking forward to meeting with did not show up, and some of his classmates were in jail. He particularly recounted someone who got into prison for being involved in a $100 million fraud scandal. Some others were divorced and unhappy, and many had not seen their children in years! Many were top executives in top corporations, but they were sad, unfortunately.
Based on these experiences with his classmates and some of his MBA students, he, therefore, made his new business school students ponder about what they wanted out of life by asking them the following questions - which led to publishing this book since it's very necessary that people think about what really matters out of life.
- Will I be successful and happy in my career?
- Will my relationship with my spouse, children, extended family, and close friends become an enduring source of happiness?
- How will I live a life of integrity - and stay out of jail?
It was clear that his classmates didn't ask themselves these questions before embarking on life's journey. These questions particularly stood out for me. I stopped for a minute to reflect on them and weighed my life based on them.
Work and Career
The author also pointed out the difference between "what to think" and "how to think". He highlighted an encounter with Intel’s former chairman, Andy Grove, who wanted him to impose his ideas on him, but instead of teaching him what to think, he showed him how to think.
Steve Jobs once said, “The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, just keep looking, don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you will know when you find it."
For some of us, one of the easiest mistakes to make is to focus on trying to over-satisfy the tangible trappings of professional success in the mistaken belief that those things will make us happy, better salaries, a more prestigious title, a more outstanding office. These are, after all, signs that we have "made it" professionally. But as soon as you find yourself focusing on the tangible aspects of your job, you are at risk of becoming like some of the author's classmates, 'chasing a mirage'. The next pay raise, you think that would probably be the one to make you the happiest, meanwhile it is just a hopeless quest.
The theory of motivation suggests that we need to ask ourselves a different set of questions than most people are used to asking.
- Is this work meaningful for me?
- Is this job going to give me a chance to develop?
- Am I going to learn new things?
- Will I have an opportunity for recognition and achievement?
- Am I going to be given responsibility?
These are the things that will truly motivate you. Once you get this right, the more measurable aspects of your job will fade in importance.
I also enjoyed the aspect of the book where he described the kind of self-analysis to carry out before picking a new job.
- What are the assumptions that have proved true for me to succeed in this assignment? Make a list.
- Look at your list and ask, are they within your control?
- What assumptions have to prove true for you to be happy in the choice you are contemplating?
- Are they based on extrinsic or intrinsic motivators?
- Is this something you enjoy doing?
- What evidence do you have?
The author advises that you need to keep thinking about the critical assumptions that should prove true anytime you consider a career move. How do you test these assumptions?
Food for thought:
You need to keep your mind open to unanticipated opportunities.
How Do You Find Happiness in Your Relationships?
The author made a very remarkable comment when he said, "If the decision you make about where you invest your blood, sweat and tears are not consistent with the person you aspire to be, you will never become that person."
This proves to be true. Learning to invest in future happiness is essential. An illustration of Steve used by the author, who worked hard on his job because he loved his family, and he thought he was providing for them, not knowing he was also neglecting them. Along the line, his wife became tired and left with the children. His business was a huge success but, he is left alone by family and friends. At a critical time when he was going through a painful divorce, he had no one with him. Eventually, he got an opportunity to see his children; but he realized that he had utterly lost touch with how to communicate with them. When the children became older, they skipped visit time with their father as they lacked a relationship with him.
The author, therefore, advises that "relationships with family and close friends are one of the greatest sources of happiness in life. It sounds simple, but like any important investment, these relationships need consistent attention, but he warns that "there will be two forces that will constantly be working against this happening. First, you will be routinely tempted to invest your resources elsewhere - in things that will provide you with more immediate payoffs. Secondly, family and friends rarely shout the loudest to demand your attention. They love you, and they want to support your career too. These can add up to neglecting the people you care about most in the world."
Life and Family Values
Another great part of the book is where he discusses relationships with children. He advises parents not to outsource raising their kids; he also suggests that money should be replaced by experiences, which will help them learn the dignity of labour. He used his family as an illustration. He and his wife bought an old house because they could not afford a new one and had to refurbish it because they had no money to pay someone to do the work. So they engaged the children to take part in painting and other things. He narrates that now that their kids are grown, if they walk into a room, they remember who painted what and all that fun memory.
Teaching children the dignity of work allows them to do things by themselves and find fulfilment in this; this point is essential for parents and intending parents. It is not a bad idea to outsource labour and some of these activities, but when would you have the time to bond with your family? It is imperative to develop family cultures and values because your children are an extension of you whether you choose to see it as that or not!
In conclusion, it is important to know that what you truly want your life to be in the long run is way better than what you want to get now. Delayed gratification and asking oneself important questions would shape your life tremendously! Join us at Discovery Shoppe to discover amazing novel ideas and thought systems through reading and sharing experiences with fellow book enthusiasts like you. 🤗How Will You Measure Your Life is indeed a 10/10 book that I would recommend to everyone interested in living a meaningful life. Also, please read about the authors Clayton Christensen, James Allworth, and Karen Dillon in our Know Your Author series.
Best,
Joyce Ekeh
Discovery Shoppe Book Club
#discovery_shoppe #discoveryshoppe
#ClaytonChristensen #selfhelp #bookreviews
#HowWillYouMeasureYourLife
Comments
Post a Comment